The moment was not as glorious as finding where a rainbow ends. It just didn't feel right for some reason. Like it was something I never should have to see. I mean, when we're little we veiw the sidewalk as an eternal pathway that has no end and has no beginning. How can we not? At a young age, we assume everything lives forever and dogs can't die. Until your dog actually dies. Then your entire little world falls apart and reality weighs 49835654 pounds.
In a sense, that's how this was for me. Being nauseated and potentially having a stomach flu, I found this encounter way more personal than I normally would. Being sick generally has that effect on me... For some unfathomable reason, the looming cloud of adulthood drifted over my head and I started craving the innocence of childhood and being lead to believe that this little path paved for me would never end.
Finding the end of the sidewalk symbolized stepping off the "safe-zone" of childhood and adolescence. I realized the road wouldn't be paved for me anymore. I have to lay my own pavement now.
I think I'm ready for it, though. It doesn't scare me as much as it should. I know who I am, and I know what I want to do and who I want to be.
According to Erik Erikson's stages of psychosocial development, the purpose of adolescence is to achieve a state of identity.
There are some definite tweaks that need to be worked out, but that's what college is for, right? No one knows how to do the whole "life" thing perfectly, and I don't intend to try.
I think I'm definitely on the right track though. The beauty of life is not knowing all the details.
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