You know, those really big ones that could seriously alter the course of your life?
Not changing who you are, but changing where you be who you are.
I don't feel like I'm qualified to make some decisions. Like someone smarter and older should be making these decisions for me. But that's just how it's always been. I should probably get used to that. Siiiiigh.
When I have big things to think about, stupid little things make me abnormally angry.
Like the other drain on the bathtub that tells you how full your bathtub can be. I was just sitting there basically fuming, thinking "Where do these people get off? This is my bathtub. In my house. If I want it to be too full, it'll be too full."
But then it got more complex that that. I started getting more angry that I can't control more things in my life.
I can't control if my best friend wants to hang out with drunken redneck lame-o's who will push her away from God and where she needs to be.
I can't control my friends getting pregnant.
I can't control what my parents do.
None of it is my hands. I mean, I feel like it should be. I always take responsibility for things I really don't need to.
Ever since, I was little I've been told "Oh, don't worry about anything. God's in control."
That's such a broad statement. A Sunday school answer to playground trauma. I mean, we don't really think about it until we feel like we can't conrtol anything.
Basically, what I've gathered is that I need to stop trying to make everything go the way I personally think it should be going and just let things flow.
You really can't control the flow of His plans, you can only disrupt it.
Which I don't plan on doing anymore.
--------
So apparently, more people read my blog than I thought they did... Like 16 actually. Whoa.
